When you think of chronic illness and of being ill in general — or at least when I think of it — you imagine being sick to your stomach, bedridden, and unable to function normally. That’s why my autoimmune disease is so frustrating. I can still function. I can be in a lot of pain, but I can for the most part do what needs to be done to get through my day. Sure, there have been times when I couldn’t, but it happens so infrequently that I feel like I don’t deserve to say that I have a problem — especially lately. I haven’t had horrible pain in months, and most of my other symptoms have faded into the background. Recently some of the symptoms have started coming back, but I have yet to be at the point I was at months ago. There are other people out there who are so much more sick, that I feel like I don’t even have the right to label myself as chronically ill. It also doesn’t help that I still don’t have a diagnosis.
I know it sounds crazy. I just haven’t ever admitted it before.
first of all – I haven’t been around for a way too long here – and this new layout probably been here for awhile, but I must say: it’s really awesome!
now, I think you’re wrong – of course you do deserve to admit you’ve got a problem. It’s nothing wrong or selfish, especially that it’s not your fault, right? But I think I get what you mean, sometimes I feel this way too, I feel like my problems (of all kinds) are nothing comparing to what other people are going through. It’s quite wierd, but I don’t think you sound crazy!
Thanks! It’s actually just a default theme that comes with WordPress, but I made the header myself. Kudos to Disney for having that Toy Creator site!
And I know that I deserve to admit it, but sometimes it just feels like it’s so minor, it shouldn’t even be complained about! (While other times it’s so horrible that I cry, “Why me?”, hahaha.)
To quote Max Payne, “Nothing is cliché when it’s happening to you.” You can’t compare what happens to you to anyone else. It won’t make you feel any better to peg someone as being “worse off”.
For me, the not knowing what it is is sometimes worse than the actual symptoms. You can take drugs to take the edge off the pain, but you can’t take the edge off an insatiable desire to know the truth about what’s wrong with you. About the best that you can do is to make the most of the days you feel good, and not to be too hard on yourself the days you don’t.
In my case, it also helps to threaten people with physical violence when they keep asking me how I feel. Your mileage may vary on that front.
Not knowing is worse — especially on top of the pain.
I guess I don’t really mind people asking me how I feel, though I do hate trying to explain it over and over — especially when explaining it to a new specialist. It’s true what JD on Scrubs once said; most doctors only really listen to patients for about twenty seconds. Or at least, in my experience.